And so it goes

This evening I saw one of my best friends leave for college. I won't see her again for months. It's hard to say goodbye. I hate it.
Sometimes I feel like I'm getting left behind. That I'm stuck in highschool for yet another year, that there is no point to where I'm at right now. Other times, I enjoy my life. But right now, I fall under the former, not the latter. Seeing my friends leave to brave the great unknown is tough, tougher than I ever imagined. They are moving on, and I'm still here. Does change ever scare you? Does the idea that things will never be as they once were frighten you? Do you even realize that yesterday will never come again?

"Time is a valuable thing, 

watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, 

watch it count down to the end of the day, 

the clock ticks life away... It's so unreal."

-Linkin Park

Personally, I'm terrified by the prospect of change. I'm entering my last year as a kid; to enjoy living at home. Next year, that all changes. I'll be on my way to college (Lord willing), never to return as the same person again. Time moves on and on, so fast. You cannot hold time in your hands; it slips away like tiny grains of sand between your fingertips.

I believe the best thing I've learned these past few months is to appreciate the NOW. It's almost impossible to do sometimes as I get caught up in daily life, but it is necessary to not put my stock in what is to come, or what happened in the past, but what is going on right now. "Every second outside of hell is God's grace. So how did you use YOUR second?" 

Our lives are short, and we seldom pause to enjoy them. We immerse ourselves in the daily routine. We fail to realize that we have little time to appreciate the world, and we fail to live life to it's fullest. I've failed in many ways, such as not taking full advantage of the time I've had with my college bound friends. I almost feel like I'm letting them down by not being able to accompany them onward. But I have been blessed beyond measure, even by just having them in my life. As I follow life's path, I want to more and more realize that every single person, every single breath, every single drop of rain or ray of sunshine is a BLESSING beyond COMPARISON. I want to look at the world through WIDE OPEN eyes and see the beauty that is before me. I want to LIVE. I want to LOVE.

I'm going to miss my friends. I pray they are blessed through their college education, with or without me. And I thank them so much for the time they have given me. 

Kmushu

P.S. I do apologize for the angsty mini-rant from a couple days ago. That was unnecessary, just a bad day at work. I need not spill my thoughts across the page without actually THINKING first.